make marriage priority

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Out With The Old, In With The New

It is common to think about resolutions as we celebrate a new year. Whether it’s a new diet, a work out program, an organization plan for our hones or a goal for work, we often usher in the new year with such promises. Some people also purge old clothes from their closets.

However, as 2020 ended, resolutions were probably not on high list of priorities as much as just a simple wish for a better year!

Nevertheless, in light of a new year, I wondered whether married couples use this concept to improve their “woness.” And honestly, if we really think hard, we can all work on throwing away some things that don’t really serve to strengthen a marriage. Things like pride, sarcasm and anger. And as we turn our backs on different degrees of these old ways, let’s ring in a new year by allowing our interactions with our loved one be characterized by grace, humbleness, gentleness and patience.

Spend intentional time together discussing how to make your “woness” better.

What are some new things that you could do to improve and strengthen your marriage?

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Staying Close During Social Distancing

People who know us well, know that I’m an extrovert and my wife is an introvert. I require longer periods of socializing whereas my dear wife, contrary to popular belief, does like social interaction, but has to have it in spurts and needs time to decompress after long periods of socializing.
So how do we, as polar opposites on the socializing scale, make our marriage work during this time of quarantine? This also applies to couples who don’t normally spend a great part of their day together. I offer a few suggestions:

Love our walks together!
  1. Respect Each Other’s Differences

Respecting one another’s differences is important at any time but when you’re in lockdown mode it’s extremely important. I have to be aware of not “suffocating” my spouse and she in turn connects with me after she’s had her alone times. 

  1. Be Willing To Communicate 

In times of a quarantine when social interaction is limited, it’s important not to isolate yourselves further.  It’s vitally important for us to communicate with one another if we need hugs, space, kisses or conversation.   

  1. Be Attentive To Your Spouse

No matter how much “alone time” a person enjoys, we all need some amount of socializing. When this is not possible, feelings of isolation, anxiety and fear can squeeze like a vice grip.  So it’s up to each spouse to be attentive to each other’s needs.

  1. Be Patient With Each Other 

Being around each other more can feel like your spouse is in front of you every turn you take.  This can feel a little like deja vu.  It’s important to be patient with one another and try to somehow have fun with these situations.

  1. Say I Love You

The most important way to survive a time of social distancing is to tell each other “I love you” often. These three words can never be said enough and are the foundation to Twobecomingwon!

What are other ways for a marriage to survive an increased time together?

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5 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Strong With Kids- #3: Date Night

Just picture this scenario: working from 8 AM to 6 PM, t-ball or soccer practice at 6:30 p.m. Another child has ballet at 5 PM. Dinner at 8 PM. Homework at 9 PM. Shower and off to bed by 10 PM. But wait, the kitchen still needs to be cleaned and there may be some work to be done in preparation for the next day at work for husband or wife or both.  
This is a loaded schedule and there’s hardly any opportunity for communication other than orchestrating the movement and activities of the kids. In some households this may occur at least four days a week and for some, this may also occur during the weekends. In some households this may occur at least eight months out of the year, with different activities or sports. How do the husband and wife team get a break from all this?  Well, the unfortunate answer is sometimes they don’t.   
This leads us to the third way of keeping your marriage strong with kids. That would be the all-important date night. The importance of date nights cannot be overstated. A couple needs time to get connected or re-connected without the interruptions of hearing, “momma!”, “I need help,” or “my brother hit me.” A couple that is to remain “won” must recharge themselves by spending time with each other. A dinner at Ruth Chris’ is probably not the most practical idea but outings such as bowling, a movie and dinner, or a quick getaway. Obviously you may have to plan on a sitter or bribe a family member.  

Again, the idea is not to spend loads of money. The idea is to spend time as you did before you got married. This reminds the couple of why they enjoy each other and why the became “won.”