say i love you

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Everyday Is Valentines

Happy Valentines Day

Valentine’s Day is a special day for couples, married or not. However, if Valentine’s Day is the only day where a married couple is celebrating their “woness,” something is wrong.

The cards, chocolates, heart pillows and teddy bears are fine. But all this should be an expression of what has been going on throughout the year. In other words, the Valentines kindness should be an overflow of the sacrificial, selfless love that characterizes a healthy marriage.

Let everyday be a loving day

So today, let your gifts be not a high point of your union but a reminder of the love that daily makes your “woness” special.

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Prostate Surgery and Beyond

In my last post, I had mentioned that after considering our options, we decided that surgery was the best choice for us. We researched and read in order to prepare ourselves for the big day. Sure, we both had some deep concerns regarding what the pathology report would read and what the next steps would be. But we prayed and left all those anxieties and worries at the foot of the cross.

On a partly cloudy day on September 20th, as sat as a family in the waiting room, I almost forgot why we were at the hospital. However, I was quickly reminded when my name was called and a nice lady applied a bracelet to my wrist. Things were starting to get more real. But I was ready! I was also hungry… I mean, I’m a breakfast man so… I’m just saying… When my name was called again, it was for real. It was time for me to take the long road to the pre operative area.

I was given a gown to change into. The anesthesiologist then came to the room. He was a rather quiet, stoic man. He asked me if I needed anything, to which I responded, “how about two shots of Jack Daniels?” Unimpressed by my response, he said, “well, we’ve got some medications that…blah blah.” “Could you just humor me,” I thought to myself. But the anesthesiologist went about his business. The nurse who was completing my pre-op papers kind of chucked at the exchange. Much to my surprise, I got a visit from my pastor and one of our elders who said a quick prayer and wished me well.

After an IV was started in my arm, I was wheeled to the cold operating room. The only thing I remember was seeing a large piece of equipment in the center of the room. This was the robotic machine used for the prostatectomy. After that, all I remember was waking up in the recovery room with a catheter. I was then transferred to a hospital room where I stayed two nights.

It was nice to come home to my own bed. I’m not the greatest of patients but the recovery was not too bad. I had a lot of help and mother-in-law even came down, and she was great!

Fast forward to eight months after surgery and I’m doing great! My latest PSA was still undetectable and I’m officially cancer free. I will still have my three month checks for two years. I continue to thank God for the medical team that treated me, for all the prayers and support from friends and of course for my family. I especially thank my one, my only, my forever partner, my love, mon cherie, my ride or die. My wife of 23 years has a been my rock, my unwavering support, my nurse and my best friend! I couldn’t have gotten this far without her.

I can officially say that I’m a survivor!

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ANOTHER ROLLER COASTER RIDE

I have been quite for a while as I recover. But I wanted to continue my story…

As we met with the oncologist, he thoroughly described my staging and reviewed the NCCN Guidelines.  According to the Gleason score and high percentage volume involvement, of at least two specimens, my prostate cancer staging, according to the American Joint Committee on Cancer was the following:  

pT2b or PT2c with most likely no node involvement (NO). 

If this sounds confusing, it’s really not as long as you have a legend to follow.  For reference, you can follow the attached diagram.  But just as a quick explanation, the “p” along with the “T” refer to the pathologic staging of the primary tumor and how much of the organ is involved.  This is designated with the prefix pT2-4 referring to the extent of the prostate gland involvement (minimal, one lobe, two lobes, whole organ and surrounding tissues). 

The other letters refer to lymph nodes and distant metastasis, N and M, respectively. The N is staged from X-1, ranging from no lymph node sampling to node metastasis. The M is staged from 0-1C, indicating no metastasis to bone involvement.

As we heard about the staging, we felt some optimism.  But then the doctor described percent success rates with and without androgen deprivation therapy. Wait, what?  I had already decided on a course of treatment that I wanted. What was happening?  Furthermore, I was now told that I would first have the radioactive pellets placed in the prostate and then four weeks later I’d have the external beam treatment.  

We were also told about the precautions I would need to take with having the pellets in terms of holding babies.  Mind you, I have a baby grandson (nine months old during this occurrence).  When he told us that the pellets never stop giving off radiation, I was paralyzed.  Although I had read that the pellets would not be a danger in terms of holding a baby, the radiation oncologist said that holding the baby on my lap for a long period would not be advisable for three to six months.  To say I was shocked would be an understatement!

Then came the other bomb.  We were told that because of the enlarged size of my prostate, it would be highly recommended that I have ADT first to decrease the size to allow for safer placement of the pellets.  Now I became numb.  How did I go from having a choice on the ADT to now it almost being required?  Not only that, the percent survival at later years were also improved when adding this therapy.  As with any treatment, there were several possible listed side effects from radiation and ADT. 

My world was absolutely rocked!  I felt like someone had pulled the carpet from underneath me!  What I thought was an appointment to go over the treatment protocol and start scheduling sessions, became a bombardment of information that was overwhelming and surprising! However, given the intermediate, unfavorable category of my prostate cancer, made sense.  It was just unexpected.

Well, the other option, which I had totally ruled out before this visit was surgery. However, we were told that obviously, we would have to make that decision.  And obviously, there were also some side effects discussed with the surgery.  We were told that although no medical professional could force me in any certain direction, given my age, surgery could be a viable option.  I left this appointment with totally dejected.  Needless to say, it was a very long night!

To be continued…

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But First, Say I Love You

Occasionally in the hustle and bustle of everyday life couples can forget the seemingly small, insignificant stuff. However, there are three words that should, without a doubt be said multiple times a day to each other.

Saying “I love you” daily is good for yourself, your spouse and for your “woness.” So whatever you do, start and finish the day with these three important words.