But First, Say I Love You

Occasionally in the hustle and bustle of everyday life couples can forget the seemingly small, insignificant stuff. However, there are three words that should, without a doubt be said multiple times a day to each other.

Saying “I love you” daily is good for yourself, your spouse and for your “woness.” So whatever you do, start and finish the day with these three important words.

Positivity Bears Positivity

Positivity Bears Positivity

I’m sure we can all point out at least five things about our spouses that are annoying. For instance, I sometimes cringe when I hear the sounds of cabinets being slammed in the kitchen. And my my dear wife really dislikes (to be gentle) the way I clean the kitchen and leave at least two items in the sink.

  • But instead of focusing on that laundry list, we try to focus instead on the things we love about each other. Sometimes this list may seem shorter, especially if it’s not thought about often. However, the more we think about them, the more positive qualities we can come up with!
  • So let me encourage married couples to spend more time looking for the good. Your relationship, intimacy and love will all grow.

    Thursday Marriage Tip

    Husbands, tell your wife daily that you love her. This will make her feel special and wanted. Wives, tell your husband you appreciate him.  This will make him feel appreciated and accomplished.

    I Make This Vow

    Last weekend , as my wife and I attended a wedding, I started reflecting on the topic of marriage vows in relation to God’s covenant with His children.

    In the Bible, God made covenants with Noah, Abraham and Moses, to name a few. In each of these covenants, God made different promises which also required a certain response or conduct from His people. In other words, the covenants were an agreement in which God promised that He would deliver on specific blessings and in return, asked for faith, obedience and a commitment.

    God makes the same kind of contracts with us today as couples look at each other’s eyes and embark on the path to “woness.” He put up the blood of His Son Jesus as collateral for our sins and in return only asks that we live a life of obedience. And as it relates to marriage specifically, God expects much from both husband and wife in the marriage relationship. In fact, in 1 Peter 3:7, after Peter laid out how a husband should care for and treat his wife, he added “so that you’re prayers are not hindered.”

    Therefore my friends, it’s important to understand that the marriage vows are not only a promise that a couple makes to each other, but also a contract between that couple and God. And the exciting fact about this is that God longs to pour His blessings on a faithful marriage!

    Perfection Does Not Exist Here

    We’ve been told before that “it seems like you guys have the perfect marriage.”

    Nothing could be further from the truth!

    Here are four examples of why our marriage is not without flaws.

    Perfection

    Neither of us are perfect therefore, our marriage is not perfect. Both of us brought our own baggage when we became “won.” And we each had our own way of dealing with our baggage. We had to each become programmed to live as “won” instead of two. Although this takes time, perfection is never really attained, since we ourselves don’t become perfect.

    Grace

    Although we all like to be shown grace, when it comes to others we tend to push for justice. This can also be the case in our marriages. There have been times where grace has eluded us (I won’t say who) which has lead to “spirited” conversations. I wish I could say that we soon came to our senses, but that hasn’t always been the case. We have however, been able to recover from those situations rather unscathed.

    Patience

    Yes, patience is a virtue, but occasionally it’s in short supply. I will admit, I’m probably the biggest offender of this. Whether it’s waking up on the “wrong side” of the bed or a bad day at work, some things can make us more irritable. This is when one us has to remind the other, without sarcasm, to exercise patience.

    Pride

    Pride can rear its ugly head in many situations. Most of all, when we want the other person to be the first to say “I’m sorry.” I have been guilty of that in the past, as I’ve documented in a previous post: https://twobecomingwon.com/2015/12/27/my-longest-night/. Pride has no place in a relationship and overtime it only destroys. The commitment has to be made to think of the other person first before ourselves.

    So although our marriage is definitely far from perfect, my wife and I have made a commitment to fight for our “woness.” Perfection is not an attainable goal for two imperfect people, but commitment and determination are traits necessary for every marriage!

    22 And Us

    My wife and I recently celebrated our 22nd anniversary. I remembered, she forgot. We were in Cancun at the time, so she gets a pass, lol!

    In celebrating our 22 years of “woness,” I thought of some things that have characterized our union. I thought I’d share these:

    1. We have always made “us” a priority.

    No matter what was going on with our kids, work or family, we never sacrificed our togetherness.

    2. We have never taken ourselves too seriously. Life is short and being able to laugh at ourselves has been good for our soul.

    3. Praying together has allowed us to face obstacles that would’ve otherwise been very difficult.

    4. Serving and encouraging each other has always been at the forefront of our marriage.

    5. We modeled a loving relationship to our kids. And although as parents we had successes and failures, we never pointed fingers at each other.

    6. Finally, I found out that I love my wife more today than I ever have.

    I hope this can serve to both encourage future marriages and strengthen current marriages.

    What are some things that have characterized your relationships?