Date night

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How About A Re-Cap?

So I wanted to briefly recap the 5 ways to keep your marriage strong with kids because this is such an important topic. Yes, we are to love our kids while they’re being raised.But to do this to the detriment of the marriage is like building a house without a good foundation. Eventually, either while the children are small or after they’ve grown and left, that “woness” will crumble. Remember, the marriage is what sustains the kids NOT the other way around.


So here they:

1. Surprise gifts- let your spouse know that you’re thinking of him/her.

2. Acts of service- serving each other is a great way to keep connected

3. Date night- this is VERY important. This helps the couple remember why they became “won.”

4. Re-connects- there is a way to coexist with multiple kid activities. Stay in the car and talk or go talk over coffee.

5. Intimacy- this is another area of marriage that cannot be ignored. This can range from cuddling, deep discussions, and the physical expression of a couples love. It may have to be planned and scheduled time but this shouldn’t and can’t dissuade a couple from intimacy.

I hope this recap helps and I pray for marriages that are struggling. May God bless your “woness.”

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5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong With Kids- #5: Intimacy 

The ripping and running of life with kids can leave husband and wife dazed and disconnected. Not only does the couple not find ways to surprise each other, serve each other, or have date nights, they also don’t work at intimacy. 

Well, it’s true every marriage needs intimacy. Intimacy can range from sharing our deepest thoughts and fears with our spouse to where one is extremely vulnerable, to the physical expression of a couple’s love. True romance requires time, patience and creativity. This however, is not always possible with small kids around. But that does not mean that a husband and wife should take a pass in intimacy.  

Time and creativity may have to take a back seat to spontaneity and opportunity. In other words, make the most of the small window of time and opportunity you have. Sometimes this may require planning, which isn’t romantic at all, but it is much better than forsaking this important aspect of “woness.”   

As I’ve stated in a previous post  https://twobecomingwon.com/2016/03/20/signs-that-your-marriage-is-in-danger-part-four/, Scripture alludes to the importance of intimacy: 1 Corinthians 7:5, “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

So, another excellent way to keep your marriage strong with kids is to not forsake intimacy. It is truly important for “woness.”

How do you make marriage intimacy a priority?

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5 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Strong With Kids- #3: Date Night

Just picture this scenario: working from 8 AM to 6 PM, t-ball or soccer practice at 6:30 p.m. Another child has ballet at 5 PM. Dinner at 8 PM. Homework at 9 PM. Shower and off to bed by 10 PM. But wait, the kitchen still needs to be cleaned and there may be some work to be done in preparation for the next day at work for husband or wife or both.  
This is a loaded schedule and there’s hardly any opportunity for communication other than orchestrating the movement and activities of the kids. In some households this may occur at least four days a week and for some, this may also occur during the weekends. In some households this may occur at least eight months out of the year, with different activities or sports. How do the husband and wife team get a break from all this?  Well, the unfortunate answer is sometimes they don’t.   
This leads us to the third way of keeping your marriage strong with kids. That would be the all-important date night. The importance of date nights cannot be overstated. A couple needs time to get connected or re-connected without the interruptions of hearing, “momma!”, “I need help,” or “my brother hit me.” A couple that is to remain “won” must recharge themselves by spending time with each other. A dinner at Ruth Chris’ is probably not the most practical idea but outings such as bowling, a movie and dinner, or a quick getaway. Obviously you may have to plan on a sitter or bribe a family member.  

Again, the idea is not to spend loads of money. The idea is to spend time as you did before you got married. This reminds the couple of why they enjoy each other and why the became “won.”