Marriage is not easy. It takes work, it takes sacrifice, it takes mutual submission and it takes understanding. Most importantly, marriage takes a solid foundation.
In our marriage the love of Christ provides the necessary foundation for us to function as “won.” This is a foundation based on sacrificial love modeled after our Savior’s love for us. Not that we have attained a perfect marriage, since we are both imperfect, but this is the love for which we strive.
1 Corinthians 13:7-8a describes the love we hope to attain daily.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” This is my favorite part of this “love chapter” because, in my mind at least, it describes the “love work” involved in a marriage. We bear, believe, hope and endure.
In this manner, love never ends. And this is the way of love.
So I wanted to briefly recap the 5 ways to keep your marriage strong with kids because this is such an important topic. Yes, we are to love our kids while they’re being raised.But to do this to the detriment of the marriage is like building a house without a good foundation. Eventually, either while the children are small or after they’ve grown and left, that “woness” will crumble. Remember, the marriage is what sustains the kids NOT the other way around.
So here they:
1. Surprise gifts- let your spouse know that you’re thinking of him/her.
2. Acts of service- serving each other is a great way to keep connected
3. Date night- this is VERY important. This helps the couple remember why they became “won.”
4. Re-connects- there is a way to coexist with multiple kid activities. Stay in the car and talk or go talk over coffee.
5. Intimacy- this is another area of marriage that cannot be ignored. This can range from cuddling, deep discussions, and the physical expression of a couples love. It may have to be planned and scheduled time but this shouldn’t and can’t dissuade a couple from intimacy.
I hope this recap helps and I pray for marriages that are struggling. May God bless your “woness.”
I’ve been married 19 years and I just recently thought about what our life communicates to our kids. What have I taught my son about how a woman should be treated? What have my actions reflected about my love for my wife? In turn, how has Lisa’s married life impacted our daughter?
I guess we often think about what kind of legacy we will leave our family. I wasn’t always a good role model, but as I matured in my Christian walk and as the refinement process continues, I would think that I became a better husband, leader, father and disciple. I can certainly say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have seen that growth in my wife.
As we have both grown, Lisa and I have made it a point to impart the importance of servant leadership. As I lead my wife, I try to do so by serving her. She has done the same by serving her family faithfully and sacrificially. We have been most encouraged in our “woness” by hearing others tell us that our lives are an inspiration. This gives us great joy. Not the kind of happiness that leads us to believe that we have reached the mountain top. But instead, a humble joy that God would choose to use such broken vessels to speak life to those hurting or those contemplating marriage.
I think I can speak for my bride of 19 years when I say that in 2016, we would like most of all to communicate love. Not the emotion. But the verb. We would like to reflect in our lives what Jesus commanded His disciples in John 13:34-35, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
In this manner we can be sure we will leave a legacy of “won.”