Agape love is a type of love that is both sacrificial and connected to an action that expects absolutely nothing in return.
There have been times, if I were to be honest, when I have not liked my wife very much. By the same token, I’m sure there have been times when she disliked me a lot!
In our dislikes, however, we have always kept our love intact. You see, our love has more to do with our promises to each other that we made not only to each other, but more importantly, before God. If we are honor God with our marriage, then love must be at the forefront.
I believe that what C. S. Lewis said, can be applied to a marriage, especially during difficult times: “Do not waste your time bothering whether you “love” your neighbor; act as if you did.” There are times when a spouse may not feel particularly loving, because of some argument or disagreement. However, if in these moments we simply behave as if we love one another, in remembrance of our vows, we will actually come to love each other.
This is because our love is much more than feelings, which can fluctuate. True love has more to do with our actions. So, if I let my actions be the guide, my feelings will follow.
This may not always be easy, but doing the hard things will always lead to growth. We have definitely experienced this in our “woness.”
Speaking love and life will always encourage and strengthen a marriage.
True love involves commitment, forgiveness, understanding and grace.
Think of your spouse more highly than yourself. Putting your spouse’s needs above your own builds equity in any marriage.
Speak encouragement over your spouse. You will see that this will grow and strengthen your marriage.
Taking time to celebrate us and our “woness” is something we live to do. So yesterday, we had an opportunity for an outing and we took advantage of it.
We really didn’t make any plans and neither of us were feeling something extravagant, so we just went on an impromptu lunch date.
Great company, fun conversation and time in each other’s gaze was all we needed to invest in our relationship bank.
Find ways to serve one another. Don’t wait for your spouse to ask you for something that obviously needs to be done.
As I was sitting contemplating about some things that were stressing me out, I was somewhat oblivious to my surroundings. I was so deep entrenched in my anxious thoughts, that I didn’t realize that my wife, had called my name three times.
She then asked me what was wrong but I told her nothing. Now, I don’t know if it’s because we’ve been married 24 years, but she knew I was lying! So she asked me again, and again I just kind of shrugged off the question.
She then turned back to her book and became quiet.
This quietness lasted for most of the night and then she simply got up and went to the bedroom. I thought she’d be back in a few minutes but after about twenty minutes I was still alone in the living room. This sometimes happens when we’ve had a disagreement. But I knew this was different.
So I make my way to the bedroom thinking about whether I should just leave it alone or ask her what was up? Clearing my throat, I asked her why didn’t she tell me she was going to bed as she usually does. Her response was that she felt that I did not want to be bothered.
I then felt compelled to share some of my anxieties and concerns. She let me know that in all that time that I was concerned and worried about things which were temporal, I deprived her of the thing that she looks forward the most. And in a clueless manner, I asked her what was that? She proceeded to tell me “You!” Wow! She was right.
Although as men, we are supposed to be protectors and providers, as husbands we must never forget that our first priority is to love our spouse. And in loving, all the other areas of “woness” will never be sacrificed.
It is common to think about resolutions as we celebrate a new year. Whether it’s a new diet, a work out program, an organization plan for our hones or a goal for work, we often usher in the new year with such promises. Some people also purge old clothes from their closets.
However, as 2020 ended, resolutions were probably not on high list of priorities as much as just a simple wish for a better year!
Nevertheless, in light of a new year, I wondered whether married couples use this concept to improve their “woness.” And honestly, if we really think hard, we can all work on throwing away some things that don’t really serve to strengthen a marriage. Things like pride, sarcasm and anger. And as we turn our backs on different degrees of these old ways, let’s ring in a new year by allowing our interactions with our loved one be characterized by grace, humbleness, gentleness and patience.
What are some new things that you could do to improve and strengthen your marriage?