Marriage Tip Thursday

Although the wife may be the weaker vessel in a marriage, it does not mean she is inferior. Husbands are to treat their wives with love, respect and honor.

Thursday Marriage Tip

Actively looking for ways in which to serve your spouse will strengthen your relationship because it will make your eyes habitually more sensitive for opportunities to serve.

But First, Say I Love You

Occasionally in the hustle and bustle of everyday life couples can forget the seemingly small, insignificant stuff. However, there are three words that should, without a doubt be said multiple times a day to each other.

Saying “I love you” daily is good for yourself, your spouse and for your “woness.” So whatever you do, start and finish the day with these three important words.

Positivity Bears Positivity

Positivity Bears Positivity

I’m sure we can all point out at least five things about our spouses that are annoying. For instance, I sometimes cringe when I hear the sounds of cabinets being slammed in the kitchen. And my my dear wife really dislikes (to be gentle) the way I clean the kitchen and leave at least two items in the sink.

  • But instead of focusing on that laundry list, we try to focus instead on the things we love about each other. Sometimes this list may seem shorter, especially if it’s not thought about often. However, the more we think about them, the more positive qualities we can come up with!
  • So let me encourage married couples to spend more time looking for the good. Your relationship, intimacy and love will all grow.

    22 And Us

    My wife and I recently celebrated our 22nd anniversary. I remembered, she forgot. We were in Cancun at the time, so she gets a pass, lol!

    In celebrating our 22 years of “woness,” I thought of some things that have characterized our union. I thought I’d share these:

    1. We have always made “us” a priority.

    No matter what was going on with our kids, work or family, we never sacrificed our togetherness.

    2. We have never taken ourselves too seriously. Life is short and being able to laugh at ourselves has been good for our soul.

    3. Praying together has allowed us to face obstacles that would’ve otherwise been very difficult.

    4. Serving and encouraging each other has always been at the forefront of our marriage.

    5. We modeled a loving relationship to our kids. And although as parents we had successes and failures, we never pointed fingers at each other.

    6. Finally, I found out that I love my wife more today than I ever have.

    I hope this can serve to both encourage future marriages and strengthen current marriages.

    What are some things that have characterized your relationships?

    The Work Of Love

    My wife and I recently celebrated our wedding anniversary. This makes 21 years. I could add the term “Lucky 21,” but that would be misleading and incorrect. This wouldn’t be a term that applies to our marriage and shouldn’t apply to any marriage.

    No, to reach 21 years of marriage takes much more than chance or luck. In fact, depending on luck would guarantee only failure. It takes work. The work involved in a marriage relationship, where two become “won,” requires grace, understanding and sacrifice.  

    Grace allows us to accept one another’s faults without condemnation. Understanding allows us to respect one another in spite of our imperfections. Through understanding, we also encourage each other to not settle in our mistakes. And by sacrificing we count the other more important than ourselves.  

    And all of these are bound by love. In love we work at grace, understanding and sacrifice. None of these exist without the framework of love.  

    I look forward to the next 21 years of loving my bride and becoming a better man.  

    My Longest Night

    I don’t know if anybody else has been through this, but I; well my wife and I, were recently in a spirited disagreement which led us to do the unthinkable: go to bed mad at each other with our backs towards each other.

    You know that moment in a “discussion” when an impasse is reached and there’s no going backwards. There is an option of saying “I’m sorry,” whether or not you’re to blame, another option would be to say “I think we should agree to disagree.” Yet another option would be to stay angry and not communicate at all. You know, the mature thing to do.
    Well, we’ve been there recently. The topic of the argument or discussion doesn’t really matter. I don’t know if it really ever does. But on this particular day, for some reason, the topic mattered either because of pride, stubbornness, or stupidity. You know, there has to be a winner and a loser. So our voices got louder as if there was a third-party listening to declare the person with the loudest voice a winner.

    As if that wasn’t bad enough, nightfall come and then the awkward time of going to bed without resolution. Do I say good night, do I not say good night, do I say “I love you?”

    Do I say anything at all? Do I even sleep in the same bed? What are the rules of engagement? Well, we actually said nothing at all. And it was one of the longest nights of my life.  

    You see, even if our anger is justified, it should not supersede love. Just as Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:26, we should not “let the sun go down in our anger.” The anger to which Paul refers is justified anger against injustice or against the precepts of God. Even this anger however, cannot go unchecked or be long lasting. Therefore, our default  (what ours should have been) should  be to swallow pride, engage our spouse and say, “Because I love you, I would like for us to discuss this later. I love you, goodnight.”

    In this manner the fellowship of love is not broken. In this manner two can stay at “won.” And to put it simply, tomorrow is not guaranteed for anybody.