Thursday Marriage Tip

Love is not a feeling, it’s a commitment. If we say that we have “fallen out of love” what it really means is that we no longer wish have a commitment to the person to whom we made a promise and to God

Understanding Differences Between Men and Women

So this past Mother’s Day, I tried to do more stuff around the house so that that my wife, and mother of our kids, could just relax. While my wife enjoyed her cards, flowers and lunch, she also had arranged her empty Clinique products on the bathroom counter for full display. “I don’t ask much, just for some observation,” she said as she swept her right hand as to uncover a prize.

At that moment, I felt like I was three days late for the prom! So I went into “fix it mode,” because that’s what men do, right? I told her that I would get new products but she told me not to bother, that she would do it.

This incident portrays a stark difference between men and women: women want men to notice things they need whereas men want to be told what women want or need.

A woman’s desire would be for her husband to be observant and proactive in both noticing and fulfilling some wants. This lets the woman know that she is being thought of. Unfortunately, most men aren’t wired this way. Most men would be happy to fill a need once they are asked.

Knowing and understanding these differences is of vital importance in a marriage. It prevents misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations and disappointments. It is also important to be able to discuss these differences with grace, patience and without setting ultimatums. This allows for healthy communication and may also help each person to be more sensitive to each other’s needs.

So how did this play out? Well, she never did go to get her Clinique products. So I assured her that I would take care of it and I did! Now she’s all set…and I’ll try to be more intentional on being observant.

Thursday Marriage Tip

Actively looking for ways in which to serve your spouse will strengthen your relationship because it will make your eyes habitually more sensitive for opportunities to serve.

Strengthening Our Marriages

There is virtually nothing in life that a person can do without practice to become proficient. Whether it’s something as simple as reading to something as complex as playing a musical instrument, excellence requires practice.

A marriage is no different in that it also requires a level of dedication to continually practice key areas that are the backbone of the love in marriage: trust, intimacy, respect, grace and perseverance.

As a couple grows in trust, they’ll also build intimacy. And the more respect a a couple has for one another the more likely it is that they’ll extend grace to one another. Furthermore, growth in these areas, will not only strengthen a marriage, but it will also help couples be able to overcome difficult times.

What do you do to strengthen your marriage?

But First, Say I Love You

Occasionally in the hustle and bustle of everyday life couples can forget the seemingly small, insignificant stuff. However, there are three words that should, without a doubt be said multiple times a day to each other.

Saying “I love you” daily is good for yourself, your spouse and for your “woness.” So whatever you do, start and finish the day with these three important words.

Positivity Bears Positivity

Positivity Bears Positivity

I’m sure we can all point out at least five things about our spouses that are annoying. For instance, I sometimes cringe when I hear the sounds of cabinets being slammed in the kitchen. And my my dear wife really dislikes (to be gentle) the way I clean the kitchen and leave at least two items in the sink.

  • But instead of focusing on that laundry list, we try to focus instead on the things we love about each other. Sometimes this list may seem shorter, especially if it’s not thought about often. However, the more we think about them, the more positive qualities we can come up with!
  • So let me encourage married couples to spend more time looking for the good. Your relationship, intimacy and love will all grow.

    Thursday Marriage Tip

    Husbands, tell your wife daily that you love her. This will make her feel special and wanted. Wives, tell your husband you appreciate him.  This will make him feel appreciated and accomplished.

    I Make This Vow

    Last weekend , as my wife and I attended a wedding, I started reflecting on the topic of marriage vows in relation to God’s covenant with His children.

    In the Bible, God made covenants with Noah, Abraham and Moses, to name a few. In each of these covenants, God made different promises which also required a certain response or conduct from His people. In other words, the covenants were an agreement in which God promised that He would deliver on specific blessings and in return, asked for faith, obedience and a commitment.

    God makes the same kind of contracts with us today as couples look at each other’s eyes and embark on the path to “woness.” He put up the blood of His Son Jesus as collateral for our sins and in return only asks that we live a life of obedience. And as it relates to marriage specifically, God expects much from both husband and wife in the marriage relationship. In fact, in 1 Peter 3:7, after Peter laid out how a husband should care for and treat his wife, he added “so that you’re prayers are not hindered.”

    Therefore my friends, it’s important to understand that the marriage vows are not only a promise that a couple makes to each other, but also a contract between that couple and God. And the exciting fact about this is that God longs to pour His blessings on a faithful marriage!

    22 And Us

    My wife and I recently celebrated our 22nd anniversary. I remembered, she forgot. We were in Cancun at the time, so she gets a pass, lol!

    In celebrating our 22 years of “woness,” I thought of some things that have characterized our union. I thought I’d share these:

    1. We have always made “us” a priority.

    No matter what was going on with our kids, work or family, we never sacrificed our togetherness.

    2. We have never taken ourselves too seriously. Life is short and being able to laugh at ourselves has been good for our soul.

    3. Praying together has allowed us to face obstacles that would’ve otherwise been very difficult.

    4. Serving and encouraging each other has always been at the forefront of our marriage.

    5. We modeled a loving relationship to our kids. And although as parents we had successes and failures, we never pointed fingers at each other.

    6. Finally, I found out that I love my wife more today than I ever have.

    I hope this can serve to both encourage future marriages and strengthen current marriages.

    What are some things that have characterized your relationships?