faithful marriage

We’re Still Becoming Won
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We’re Still Becoming Won

It’s been a while.
When I first started Two Becoming Won, it was a place to share pieces of our life — the good, the messy, the moments that make marriage what it really is: a journey. Life got busy, as it tends to do.
Between work, family, and just living it all out in real time, writing took a back seat. But what didn’t stop is the growing, learning, and becoming.

Marriage isn’t a “one and done.” It’s a daily choice. It’s two imperfect people, choosing each other again and again, through all the seasons. That’s why I’m excited to pick this back up.

Two Becoming Won was never about being perfect.
It’s about being real — about encouraging each other to keep showing up, to keep loving deeper, and to keep building something stronger, even when (especially when) it isn’t easy.

Over the next few months, I’ll be sharing more:

  • honest reflections,
  • personal stories,
  • lessons learned (sometimes the hard way),
  • and practical ways to keep growing as partners.

I don’t have all the answers. But I believe in the journey.
And I believe marriage, done with grace and intention, is worth everything it asks of us.

If you’re here — whether you’re newly married, married-for-decades, or somewhere in between — I’m glad you are. Let’s keep becoming “won,” together.

Still becoming,

Rob

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Love When You Don’t Like

There have been times, if I were to be honest, when I have not liked my wife very much. By the same token, I’m sure there have been times when she disliked me a lot!

In our dislikes, however, we have always kept our love intact. You see, our love has more to do with our promises to each other that we made not only to each other, but more importantly, before God. If we are honor God with our marriage, then love must be at the forefront.

I believe that what C. S. Lewis said, can be applied to a marriage, especially during difficult times: “Do not waste your time bothering whether you “love” your neighbor; act as if you did.” There are times when a spouse may not feel particularly loving, because of some argument or disagreement. However, if in these moments we simply behave as if we love one another, in remembrance of our vows, we will actually come to love each other.

This is because our love is much more than feelings, which can fluctuate. True love has more to do with our actions. So, if I let my actions be the guide, my feelings will follow.

This may not always be easy, but doing the hard things will always lead to growth. We have definitely experienced this in our “woness.”

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Everyday Is Valentines

Happy Valentines Day

Valentine’s Day is a special day for couples, married or not. However, if Valentine’s Day is the only day where a married couple is celebrating their “woness,” something is wrong.

The cards, chocolates, heart pillows and teddy bears are fine. But all this should be an expression of what has been going on throughout the year. In other words, the Valentines kindness should be an overflow of the sacrificial, selfless love that characterizes a healthy marriage.

Let everyday be a loving day

So today, let your gifts be not a high point of your union but a reminder of the love that daily makes your “woness” special.

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Thursday Marriage Tip

Find ways to serve one another. Don’t wait for your spouse to ask you for something that obviously needs to be done.

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You’re All I Want

As I was sitting contemplating about some things that were stressing me out, I was somewhat oblivious to my surroundings. I was so deep entrenched in my anxious thoughts, that I didn’t realize that my wife, had called my name three times.

She then asked me what was wrong but I told her nothing. Now, I don’t know if it’s because we’ve been married 24 years, but she knew I was lying! So she asked me again, and again I just kind of shrugged off the question.
She then turned back to her book and became quiet.

This quietness lasted for most of the night and then she simply got up and went to the bedroom. I thought she’d be back in a few minutes but after about twenty minutes I was still alone in the living room. This sometimes happens when we’ve had a disagreement. But I knew this was different.

So I make my way to the bedroom thinking about whether I should just leave it alone or ask her what was up? Clearing my throat, I asked her why didn’t she tell me she was going to bed as she usually does. Her response was that she felt that I did not want to be bothered.

I then felt compelled to share some of my anxieties and concerns. She let me know that in all that time that I was concerned and worried about things which were temporal, I deprived her of the thing that she looks forward the most. And in a clueless manner, I asked her what was that? She proceeded to tell me “You!” Wow! She was right.

Although as men, we are supposed to be protectors and providers, as husbands we must never forget that our first priority is to love our spouse. And in loving, all the other areas of “woness” will never be sacrificed.

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A Celebration Of Life

As I recently celebrated another birthday, I’ve contemplated a lot on what the day actually meant to me. This is because I was celebrating more than just the day of my birth. I was also celebrating the one year anniversary of my prostatectomy procedure and the fact that my dear wife made me go get a physical, which led to my #prostatecancer diagnosis. I celebrated not only my birth but also my wife’s commitment to #insicknessandhealth. Her commitment to “woness.”

This month is also #prostatecancerawarenessmonth, which reminds me that I am now part of a brotherhood of men who fight and have fought this highly treatable yet terrible disease.

Yes, this birthday was like no other. It was definitely a celebration of life in more ways than one. Probably my most important birthday!