Marriage is forever

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5 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Strong With Kids: # 2- Acts of Service 

No matter what your love language is, I think everyone enjoys having something done for them. This can be very important in a marriage. Washing your spouse’s car, helping with the cleaning if you don’t normally do it, doing the laundry, or cooking/doing the dishes. I of course am not allowed in the kitchen. Not after the chicken incident of 1999, (long and different story, LOL).
So #2 on the list of how to keep your marriage stronger with kids is  Acts of Service.

  
This may sound strange but on occasion, because of the busyness of life (especially with kids), either the husband or the wife may need some alone time. This may sound counterproductive since there is no “together time,” but this can give husband/wife time to decompress and recharge their batteries. This in turn will allow increase energy and make they better life for her husband. 

The particular act doesn’t matter. The point here is that this will not only make your spouse happy it will more often than not make “won” stronger and it let your kids see that marriage is about communication and teamwork. 

Stay tuned for more.

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5 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Strong With Kids:  #1- Surprise Gifts

#1 Surprise Gifts

  
When there are kids around obviously they need attention. But the parents, husband and wife, must remain connected. Failing to keep connected while raising kids can lead to lack of communication, failure to understand each other and temporary break in fellowship. So finding ways to remain connected is vital to the marriage.

I don’t know too many people that don’t enjoy a surprise. Surprising your spouse with a small gift can be fun, exciting and romantic. It doesn’t have to be a big ticket item either. Flowers, a simple note saying how much you appreciate your spouse, a photo gift of some sort, etc. The purpose here is not to break the bank but to make your spouse feel special.

I will admit, I’m not the most observant person in the world. So surprise gifts take a special effort. But again, this doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. My wife knows I’m not creative. I’ve actually sent my dear wife texts during the day to let her know how much I love her and that I appreciate her. 

These are just small examples but can be invaluable in creating conversation, making your spouse feel appreciated and also it can be a great first step in staying connected and “won.”  

Stay tuned for other ways to keep a strong marriage.

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5 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Strong With Kids 

It is not uncommon in a marriage for the communication and the relationship itself to take a back seat to a child. It’s natural for husband and wife to shift their attention from each other to the child. However, this can be done to the detriment of the marriage relationship if the couple who became “won” is not careful.
  
This can especially be challenging for blended families, where a relationship has to develop with step kids. But for any family, one of most lasting gifts a husband and wife can give to the kids is to model a strong marriage. This was written by Carol Ummel Lindquist, PhD, author of “Happily Married with Kids: it’s not just a Fairy Tale.” Dr. Lindquist wrote, 

“The irony is that a strong relationship with your partner is one of the best things you and your husband can do for your kids.”

In light of this, I wanted to list 5 things that keep your marriage strong when kids are part of the family.  I will list these separately over a few days.  Stay tuned.

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5 Reasons Daddy-Daughter Dates Are Important 

I recently had a wonderful date with my beautiful, fun loving daughter. With my work and her school and extracurricular activities, it can be challenging to find time for these. But they are so very important. We didn’t do anything extravagant. We bowled for two rounds and had dinner at one of her favorite spots.
  
Although our bowling scores were embarrassing, we had great conversation and bonding time. Dinner time is just as enjoyable. We’ve done this before but it’s a new experience now that my baby girl is 16.  Having said that, I’d like to go into five reasons why daddy daughter dates are so important.

1. Reminding my daughter that she can talk to me

   Being a parent means that I’m in a position of authority not friendship. However, I also want my daughter to feel comfortable enough to open up to me about any problems or issues without worrying about being scolded or judged. Dates give us this opportunity.

2. Reminding my daughter that she is special 

   Young girls want approval and want to feel special. If I make my daughter feel special she won’t have seek in other places for acceptance.

3. Setting Standard for future dates

   By giving my princess an example of how should be treated, she will have a pattern of what’s acceptable and not acceptable treatment in future dates. She will then learn not to settle anything less than a gentleman.

4. Having Fun

     Daddy-daughter dates are a great opportunity to just get wild, loose and have lots of fun. We were probably by far the worst bowlers at the joint. But our jokes and trash talking made up for our lack of skill. 

 
5. Developing memories 
     Daddy daughter dates give my daughter memories that she will treasure for a lifetime. These can be a source of peace and joy in times of sadness or distress. The talks and wisdom nuggets can come in handy. 

So there you have some very good reasons to have daddy-daughter dates. The important thing is not what’s done, but just to do it. Because sooner or later someone else will be taking her on dates.  

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What Does Our Marriage Communicate?

I’ve been married 19 years and I just recently thought about what our life communicates to our kids. What have I taught my son about how a woman should be treated? What have my actions reflected about my love for my wife? In turn, how has Lisa’s married life impacted our daughter?

I guess we often think about what kind of legacy we will leave our family. I wasn’t always a good role model, but as I matured in my Christian walk and as the refinement process continues, I would think that I became a better husband, leader, father and disciple. I can certainly say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have seen that growth in my wife.  

As we have both grown, Lisa and I have made it a point to impart the importance of servant leadership. As I lead my wife, I try to do so by serving her. She has done the same by serving her family faithfully and sacrificially. We have been most encouraged in our “woness” by hearing others tell us that our lives are an inspiration.     This gives us great joy. Not the kind of happiness that leads us to believe that we have reached the mountain top. But instead, a humble joy that God would choose to use such broken vessels to speak life to those hurting or those contemplating marriage.  

I think I can speak for my bride of 19 years when I say that in 2016, we would like most of all to communicate love. Not the emotion. But the verb. We would like to reflect in our lives what Jesus commanded His disciples in John 13:34-35, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

In this manner we can be sure we will leave a legacy of “won.”