So in my last post I alluded to the fact that marriage takes work. Everything that is worth having is worth working for. I want to expand on this and share my view of the kind of work that is involved in a marriage. I have tried to condense the work involved in marriage into the three C’s.
Whether it’s work, organizations, or relationships they all require communication to function. In marriages this is vital in order for a couple to survive. In too many marriages however, this communication is one sided. The stereotypical picture is a woman talking to her husband while he stares aimlessly and dumbfounded at the TV. But is it really true that women talk more than men? Actually, it turns out to be an urban legend according to a study by researchers at the University of Arizona. But I digress.
Without a two way communication it is impossible for the institution of marriage to function as it should. Where there is poor communication there is misunderstanding. Where there is misunderstanding there is bitterness. Unresolved bitterness over time leads to divorces. If we can communicate at our jobs and within groups, shouldn’t we work just as hard in our marriages?
This may be occasionally difficult at times but it is worth it. Remember if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! : )
The Rolling Stones had a hit song called “you can’t always get what you want.” This couldn’t be any truer in the marriage relationship. But should it be about getting what we want? If two are truly becoming “won”, then the focus will be her or him instead of me or I. When a couple can compromise, communication improves. When communication improves there is understanding. The focus then shifts from getting what I want to getting what’s best for “won”. Don’t we look for athletes to think of the team rather than themselves? Why should the thinking be any different for a marriage relationship which is so much more important? This does take work but again, it is worth it!
Finally, we arrived at the last C of marriage work. In a marriage relationship there can be a lot of distracters such as work issues, children activities, family issues and emotional issues (No disrespect ladies) that can alter or change communication and compromise. What happens then? Well, we must be flexible. Also men – we must be sensitive to times when our wives may require a little “extra grace.” One thing to remember during these times is the following: Chocolate saves lives.
I hope you enjoyed reading about the 3 C’s of marriage work. Sure, this may be an over simplification. But the 3 C’s are at the starting point for everything else. Next we can tackle roles in a marriage.