The second sign that can signify danger in a marriage is if couples stop investing in each other. I presented this topic previously as reason for high divorce rates, https://twobecomingwon.com/2015/07/15/marriage-investment.
In order to get a return on any relationship there must be some sort of intentional investment. If the only time a husband and wife meet is after work in the evening’s for dinner, and the rest of the time is filled with children activities or home projects, there will not be much of a foundation to build upon.
We all have a need to feel loved, accepted and valued. This is especially important in a marriage. Failure to invest in these needs leaves your spouse’s “marriage bank” depleted. When the emotional needs bank is running in empty there is room for bitterness, resentment and lack of intimacy. When these items are continually deposited into this “bank,” disappointment and desperation can set in.
This can be, and usually is a slow fade. We will reap from a relationship what we sow. How are you investing in your marriage or relationship?
It was a clear but brisk day in the Fall. Everything was seemingly going well with Joe and Elaine. But on this day Joe entered the kitchen as one enters a theater knowing exactly where they will be seating. Noticing Elaine by the sink, he dropped the bomb; “I don’t want to be married anymore.” Elaine stood lifeless as if a news anchor had just announced that Mars was invading the Earth.
These are fictional names but the situation is only slightly altered. How could something like this happen? Is this even possible? Weren’t there warning signs?
The answer to all these questions is yes. As the old adage says, where there’s smoke there’s fire. Unfortunately, individuals in a marriage sometimes either ignore the “smoke” or have blinders tending only to the busyness of life. As a way to bring some light to this scenario, I will be presenting 5 warning signs that a marriage may be in trouble.
The number one sign is if couples avoid discussing a difficult topic.
Sometimes couples find themselves in a precarious position of not wanting to discuss a difficult topic as if somehow, magically it will disappear. This can be an unresolved argument regarding the house, work, kids, finances or a possible problem relationship with someone from the opposite sex.
Unresolved conflicts can fester and just like cancer, metastasize to all areas of the marriage relationship. Couples with healthy marriages leave no stones unturned when it comes to discussing the difficult things. They understand that the “woness” of a marriage depends on it.
I will be going into the other signs on the next few posts. Feel free to add some other signs that you think are important.